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Recent Registry Submissions

A variety of experiences are regularly submitted to the Mystical Experience Registry. Some follow the classical descriptions defined on the Types of Mystical Experience page and are marked with three blue stars (***). Many others are unique experiences calling into question assumptions about the powers of the psyche. Both types are offered here because it is likely that they converge in some heretofore unknown manner.

Looking at the Clock - 26 year old, female

This happened around 3am in late October 2003.

I was sleeping and suddenly, I was awakened by a strong presence next to my bed. I must have opened my eyes and perceived a fuzzy shape. The entity emanated very strong vibrations, which I registered as being neither warm nor cool, so much so that my bedsheet fluttered (and I heard it). It was very intense. It was quiet.

I was somewhat freaked as I lived alone. I tried to "break the spell" by speaking but nothing would come out. I resorted to the Lord's Prayer and was asleep before I finished reciting it mentally. I felt awed, somewhat fearful and confused. I wonder if mystical experiences produce fear too, for I have read about comforting or divine mystical experiences. What kind of presence was it? What did it want? What did it want to communicate to me? Do I have the strength to face it?

The experience raised many questions for me. I still wonder if it were a dream, but it was so vivid, and I remember looking at the clock during that experience.

10,000 Pages - 4 year old, Male

I was 4 years old ,now I'm 25 (male).I had a good temperature at the time(living in the Noth Bay area,Navato) of about 104 degrees,lying on my mom's bed by myself and I hear a booming voice from all directions say,"READ TEN THOUSAND PAGES AND YOU WILL BE A WIZARD!"

Startled I got up off the bed and walked downstairs(the clock in the bedroom read anywhere from 4:20 am to 4:27 am. I told my mom I heard voices and she said I was delusional.To this day I think to myself I heard the voice of god! And then I think why don't I hear it anymore? I would have to fight the feeling of being scared, and besides I have heard all I need to.I'm working on the pages, I need to read the bible. But I'm convinced that us humans need to work together as a team, people with strengths to help the world out, you know who you are. Let's assist each other-all humans are under one banner of love and understanding-it's love not hate in our hearts that we need-we have the strength to change the world-make heaven on Earth-us good people are strong-so strong! I gonna work on getting the message out in music. I know that us who are more understanding the next person, must lookout for that person be your brothers keeper, lead them to the light shepard.

***Unity of All Life- 47 year old, male

I'll be 47 next week. Five months ago tomorrow I was riding my motorcycle back to work after an afternoon break. What happened I personally don't remember clearly, only pieces, mental "snapshots". A 93 year old man, attempting to make a left hand turn, turned across my path at an intersection. I was only going 40 mph according to the police report, but there was no way to avoid him. I broadsided his van and bounced off. I wasn't wearing a helmut.

I remember opening my eyes and seeing an intensely detailed image immediately in front of my face. There were dozens of interconnecting lines, a pattern with no discernable orientation. Slowly I began to realize that I was lying on the road face down looking at the blacktop. There was no color, only shades of grays and black. Then, from left to right, the tiny cracks began to smooth over, the tiny cracks filling up and becoming smooth. As I calmly watched this I began to realize that what I was seeing was my blood flowing from my head across my limited field of vision. A very serene feeling, no panic, no fear, just the thought that I was probably watching my life flow out from my body.

That's the last clear memory I have until three days later. It was at this time that the paramedics could not get a blodd pressure reading. What happened during that time, I don't know how long, has forever changed my life. I was "shown" the unity of all life. All life, all matter, is of the same essence, differing only in appearance. All life is divine. Divinity does not exist outside of us, but resides within us, within all life. I can never lose this experience. It has forever altered my way of perceiving this plane of existence. The "accident" happened for a purpose. Everything happens for a reason. We just are not always privy to the true meaning, although to look within oneself is the path to true divinity.

***Voice of God - 30 year old, female

I really would like to remain anonymous, but other details I am willing to share. I am 30 years old and I am female. Well my experience all took place at the beginning of the year (2001), while everyone was celebrating the new millineium, I was in a state of deep depression.

You see I had met this man, I had only known him for 2 days but felt a deep soul connection with him.For many reasons this meeting was all so right but then it was all so wrong.I felt that I could spend the entirety of my life with him,it all felt so right,he was everything I had ever wanted in a man, I really wanted him more than anything else in the world! But I knew that I couldn't have him you see I was at the end of a relationship with another person and he well he had twins on the way at the time.

So we go our own seperate ways about 2 weeks after meeting him I was so depressed, I couldnt sleep, eat I had lost heaps of weight. I got to the stage where I had had enough of life and all that it had to offer me.I was on the brink to suicide, I knew that I needed help so I fell to my knees and prayed to god that day, I prayed from the sincerity of my heart and I knew he was there for me.I have never prayed that way ever not once in my whole life,but pray I did.

The night falls and I am in a deep sleep all of a sudden I am going through this tunnel of light, I have heard of the black voids but I had none of that, it was so beautiful the music I cannot explain but shocked by the whole experience I brought myself out of it. I sat up in my bed and I thought I was going crazy.I manage to fall asleep again and once again this beautiful light appears it is so wonderful then I hear this voice I do not want to repeat what was said to me because I feel that this message was from god to me. What gets me the most about all this is that I didn't know anything about mysticism at the time, had I known then what I know now I would have embraced this light with all my heart and soul, I know this was a communion with god and I know he is there for me but I have to learn to trust him.I have other mystical experiences as well where sometimes I feel at one with the whole universe,but what I have learnt from this whole experience is that god is with me always and forever and he will never harm me. I love you god.

***Remotely Captured In Words - 19 year old, female

This experience happened when I was 19 and I am currently a 49 year old woman.

I have shared it with only a handful of people because the attempt to decribe the experiential/sacred aspects cannot remotely be captured with words and it is so personal that I am not willing to share it and allow it to be demeaned. I share it here in hopes that it will offer some meaningfulness, support or validation for others who may have similar experiences.

I was happy at the time of the experience. I was a college student who was also tutoring poor children, and their world and minds had had a special effect on opening my heart. I have always been even as a child, one who was searching for a "god connection/experience" and organized religion had not provided this. I was basically an agnostic.

The experience began about 5 pm as I left my home in a car with a friend who was driving. As I looked out over the lake nearby the colors of the trees and and all that was in view became INTENSELY ALIVE. At the same time I felt bathed in a warm, joyous love and felt as though it was being poured into my head. Along with it was a pouring of "truths/connections/understandings". I began talking to the friend and he said "Keep talking!".....That is the last thing I recalled about the evening until about 4 a.m. in the morning when I became aware of my "I" again.

I was in my bed and the pouring into my head of the "aha's" kept coming in...they were like ..yes there is that..and there is this ...Things were as they should be. We are so loved. Their were many long term effects of the experience...Mostly positive but challenging to integrate at age 19 (One that was remarkable was that for about 3 months, the slightest movement of a persons hand would reveal things to me about their life and the state of their soul). I had to learn to be less sensitive and aware in order to filter out and find balance for myself as time went on. I feel truly blessed to have had the experience and my life would not have been at all the same without it and yet until this stage of my life I would not have wished for another of this magnitude. Perhaps that is why I searched on the net to hear of others experiences today for the first time.

***Troop Ship - 19 year old, Male

Age 64 now. Was 19 at time of experience. Male. After 20 some depressing days aboard a troop ship, we were moving south along the east coast of Japan. I stood alone at the rail of the ship. As I watched the Japanese shore a few miles away, I spotted a lighthouse. I briefly felt transported to being within yards of the lighthouse rather than miles. I felt a very beautiful, happy, and life-affirming feeling. The days of depression turned to a feeling of joy and hope. I've tried to express my feeling in words, but they don't do it adequately. It was wonderful!

You Are Never Alone - 31 & 40 year old, Female

When I was 31 and single, living in a not-so-great neighborhood, I was sitting on my living room floor playing solitaire and feeling incredibly sorry for myself because I was still single. I remember saying to myself, "I'm so tired of being alone!" And an absolutely BOOMING voice that seemed to come from inside, rather than outside said "YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!"

It really startled me. I think one of my spirit guides was really frustrated with me. Then just this past year, I was getting in my car to go to work and that same voice told me to go back into the house. I suffer from mild obsessive-compulsive disorder, so I am constantly running late because I have to go back and check to make sure that the coffeemaker or the curling iron or whatever is off and not going to burn the house down. I remember actually being angry at myself and saying, "OK are you happy now?!" when I was standing around in the house knowing everything was shut off. Then I got back in the car and went to work. I got no more than a quarter of a mile from my house and came upon a fairly gruesome accident that had just happened. If I had not listened to that voice would I have been in the middle of it and injured? I don't know, but I'll never ignore that voice.


***Failure of Logic - 35 year old, male

I am male, and this happened to me when I was 35 years old, in early September,2000.

It is difficult to know what to say - but I think this gives a little glimpse into myexperience of the divine presence. I feel as if my life is a story being told to me byGod - it is full of symbols and meaning and it is therefore difficult to find just one thingto share.

There have been two opposing forces at work in my life that came together in oneinstant, in an airplane over Sacramento. The first is that, after a life of despair anddissolution(too much dissolution to share in this context), my daughter was born andfor the first time since my own childhood, I was able to experience a simple joy. This,in itself, made my life meaningful - I would tell my family this: "I could spend the restof my life watching her play and be content." My philosophy had never accounted forthe presence of joy in one's life, so it was at that point that I began to realize that theiron structure my intellect had constructed was beginning to rust at the base. Then, there was the miraculous evening where I got drunk in a bar, was given aframework for a simple faith by the man sitting next to me, then I later slithered into atopless bar and harrassed a young girl with blonde hair and 'breasts like dollops ofwhipped cream until it was time for me to board the plane for a meeting in Sacramento.

It did not occur to me until about a month ago that there must be some symbolicsignificance to the presence of Sacramento during my transformation. At the time, Ihad heard of the word Sacrament, but didn't know what it meant. In fact, it was notuntil nearly a year later that I learned it's meaning in church.

The significance is this: while my plane was descending into Sacramento, I wasthinking about the story the man at the bar had told me, and I was thinking about thatyoung woman and what my daughter would think of me if she knew what I had done(and still do). She would despise me even more than the stripper did herself.

It was a bitter blow, because the very thing that had finally lifted me up and gave mea reason to live was now looking back at me and I knew that I had absolutely nothingto offer. The grace of my daughter's presence in this world was truly gratuitousbecause I did not deserve it. It was the presence of redemption and my continueddepravity in the face of it that finally destroyed me. It is at this point that logic failedme.

I had rationalized much of my self-indulgent behavior by telling myself that everything is permissable now that it is known that God is dead. I even recall smilingsmugly to myself after having had lunch with a married woman and saying out loudin my car, "leading a meaningless life has its advantages." Meaning, of course, thatmy life's meaninglessness somehow justified my betrayel of the institution of marriage.

The problem I faced was this: while I could justify this behavior to myself, I couldnever justify it to my daughter - God or no God. Logic or no logic. She loved me and Iloved her back and the interplay of this state of being and my existence as her fatherrequired me to change. I could not love my daughter and continue to be the personwhom I was. I had to change.

Sacramento is nestled in the Central Valley of California, about halfway between themountains and the ocean. The mountains are so high, and so close to the airport,that as the airplane crests the mountains and begins the final approach into Sacramento it has to descend very quickly in an alarming zig-zag pattern, wheelingleft and right, descending so quickly that at times you are almost lifted out of yourseat.

On this day, the descent woke me from my troubled sleep - I was surprised to findthat I had finally been able to get some sleep, but I didn't feel rested at all. I feltterribly depressed. I had the worst taste in my mouth - cigarettes, beer, coffee andNicorette (which I chewed on planes because I couldn't smoke). My stomach burned.I dreaded the company of my co-workers because I would have to smile and talk about the future, when I didn't want to think about the future.

Tears welled up in my eyes - they stung because I was dehydrated. I was nothing. But somewhere, sometime in my descent into Sacramento, after the plane crestedthe white-capped mountains and before it landed in the middle of the brown fields atthe airport north of Sacramento, I exhaled the last breath of my old life.

Then, something breathed into me with a breath as sweet as lilac and as strong as asummer breeze.

I now know that the sacraments are the ways in which God's presence becomes manifest to us. As my plane approached Sacramento, I felt the presence of God forthe first time since my childhood - a gentle lightness of being and suddenly, I waschanged.

There's more at failureoflogic.org.

In Juarez, Mexico - 21 year old, male

This occurred to me when I was about 21 years old; I am now 54. I was in Juarez, Mexico managing a little hotel for my aunt. I was alseep in my room with the air conditioning on. (the air came in from a duct in the wall and exited through the gap in the front door - this was a very old edifice) At a certain point I heard a voic say, "Oscar get up". It was a very clear, real voice and I believe that I heard it twice. I woke up and said something like, "yes, what". There was no answer and there was no one in the room. I got up and openned the door to my room and found that the hall was full of smoke. The night watchman was asleep on the couch and had not yet been awaked by the smoke. I awoke him and said Jorge there is a fire some place. He quickly went to investigate and found a room in which the mattress was on fire from someone's cigarret. That was the only time in my life, in which I have heard an actual voice from somewhere else. A friend once surmised that it might have been a guardian angel.


***Room of Light - 38 year old, male

I am a 38 year old Jewish male. I studied for many years to become a Rabbi and that dream came true with my ordination last Thursday night. The night before the ceremony, each of my classmates and I were told to immerse ourselves in a ritual bath (called a Mikveh) or use a shower with the intention of ritual purification. We were then to make a complete confession of our sins and request forgiveness so that we might start our new role in life with a blank slate. Finally, we were to report any dreams we might have to the chief Rabbi the next day.

I followed the instructions and thanked God that my parents were still alive to see this day and for sending me a loving wife. I told God that I was open to receiving any messages He might wish to send me and then I went to sleep. Once before in my life I had an experience I could not rationally explain. When I was 11, I awoke in the middle of the night absolutely KNOWING that my beloved brother Mark, then in Kansas, had been hurt or was in terrible danger. My parents reminded me that we had spoken with him several hours earlier and he was fine. I insisted that they call him and learned that he had been in a terrible car wreck after swerving to miss a dog in the roadway. He was in the hospital but made a recovery.

I don't recall the specifics of how I knew he was hurt, only that it was communicated to me while I slept. The night before my ordination I had a far more powerful experience. I dreamed that I was a little boy again, about five years old, wearing my old childhood pajamas (with the feet sewn onto them) and that I had awoken early at dawn to crawl into bed with my Grandma Esther, who died in her 90's in 1982. As a child she used to bless me in Yiddish and was a deeply religious and warm person.

As a teenager I was quite devastated when she died. In my dream, (although I am not sure that I was dreaming) I entered the room she stayed in within my parent's house. I could see her covered form in her bed although I could not see her face or any part of her body. This was unusual, because whenever I normally have dreams of her I can see her face clearly. I could see the lamp that hung above her bed and her dresser but nothing else of the room such as walls or floor. The entire room was filled with the most gloriously intense golden light which seemed to pulsate in great rays from above her bed. It was more brilliant than the sun although I could look at it without discomfort. I could actually feel the light enveloping my body and passing through it with tremendous joy, peace and ecstasy.

If you know the good feelings that result from deep meditation or prayer, or at the end of a well spent Yom Kippur - Day of Atonement, that sensation is but one thousandth of the overwhelming joy I felt. I heard five words spoken to me in my Grandmother's voice in Yiddish "A Bracha On Dein Kopf" "A blessing on your head". I knew that my grandmother was present but I felt that something much more than her was present also. Indeed, I wonder if the format of the experience was simply the only way my mind could absorb what I was receiving.

I awoke crying and shaking very hard. My pillow was soaked with tears. I had gone to bed at around 11pm and saw that it was around 2:30am. I do not know how long this experience lasted. I could not sleep any more that night. It was absolutely overwhelming, the psychic equivalent of getting run over by a speeding freight train of joy. I could barely talk about it the next day with the chief Rabbi, I was was crying so hard as I recalled what had happened.

One of my classmates, a psychiatrist, used a light hypnotism that allowed me to finally settle down after I talked about what had happened to me. It is even difficult for me to type this without tearing up. I talked about it with my wife and told her that I was glad I was married to her, because I might not have wanted to awaken from this sort of experience, it was so joyful and peaceful. The Rabbi told me that I should have danced for joy at getting such a blessing and said that he has known that the Erev Smicha {Hebrew for night before ordination}is a powerful time when such things can happen.

I am not sure that I want to experience such a thing again before death, because I found it so overwhelming. I truly understand now why in the Torah the People asked Moses to hear the commandments for them. If what I experienced was a fraction of what occurred at Sinai I would not have have been able to stand before it either. I have studied some Kabbalah and truly wonder if this was my grandmother's soul speaking to me from within the Shekhina {The Hebrew word for the Divine Presence}or if this was a communication from God using my grandmother's voice to speak to me, if there is any real difference between the two. A friend who is a Rabbi who heard about this responded that the words I heard, about a blessing on my head, probably related to the way Jewish ordination is done, by laying hands upon the candidate's head and making a blessing. I had not thought of that as it was simply a blessing my grandmother often used. He believed that my true ordination happened that night, from God's mouth, using my grandmother's touch to convey the blessing. It was truly an overwhelming experience. I have since read accounts of near death experiences that describe a similar light and feelings. I had always imagined God's hidden light to be a brilliant white, but what I experienced was an intense golden color, similar to the color of the sun at daybreak but much more intense. I could actually 'feel' this light enveloping me and passing through me with an overpowering and overwhelming sense of joy and ecstasy

***While Listening to Abba - 30 year old, male

Before I start I wish to thank those responsible for the creation of this site and tthose who have shared their
experiences. I have found the descriptions made available on this site of others experiences most helpful in trying to integrate my own into my life.

My experience happened in Sept 1981 when I was 30. I was lying on the floor of friends listening to an album
through some very high quality headphones they had just bought. I was alone, it was early afternoon on a
sunny day In central California where I had just arrived for the first time several weeks earlier I was listening to
a song performed by the group ABBA which I knew well. It has several parts where the music builds up into a
piano's crescendo bursting like fireworks. As I was listening, just before one of those parts, I began imagining looking up into a star filled night sky.

Suddenly I felt myself, not my body but my conscious awarness, starting to travel up into that starfield, I no longer heard the music even though the song was only about 2/3rds completed. I started to accelerate and could feel myself expanding at a tremendous rate. I was diffusing into and through the star field. I continued expanding and accelerating until I went beyond the stars into absolute darkness. I felt I had expanded to infinity, in all directions to where the ends of the universe join. I felt every atom of the universe as a separate yet connected being. I felt I was in communion with ever single thing in the universe while at the same time I felt my"self" to be absolutly nothing, complete emptiness, a void in which was suspended the entire universe. A void which connected and supported everything.

I remained suspended in this place for a time ( I definitely had a distinct sense of being some where) experiencing the impossibility of being and knowing everything down to each individual grain of sand in the universe while at the same time feeling to be absolutly nothing. It felt like the place where we go after death and before birth. It was totally peacefull. After some time I looked back toward the direction of the starfield I had passed through and caught a glimpse of a faint greenish-blue glimmer of light, I felt attracted to it. The instant the attraction arose I was immediately transported through what felt to be light years of space.

I floated above this large luminous sphere for a time,
thinking it perhaps a planet or moon, until I felt I wanted to see it closer, Again I immediately started to
descend and manifest my desire. As I drew closer suddenly some part of me generated the thoughts "I am losing myself, what about myself?" As soon as those thoughts arose in an instant I felt myself travel back through the billions of light years of the starfield and beyond and back into my body. I looked up at the ceiling, the music had stopped, there were several other songs on the album so I must have been 'gone' for at least 25 minutes, although it felt like an eternity.

I have tried to recreate the experience but thus far have been unsuccessfull mainly I believe because there is a part of me that fears I will not want to return or will not be able to. I find, looking back now some twenty years, that this experience of oneness and its subsequent loss due to fear of losing ones'self' was what is referred to as the fall from grace or the expulsion from the garden and back into the material body.

***
In The Cotton Patch - 14 year old, female

The most important event of my life occurred in the early autumn of 1947 two weeks before my fourteenth birthday. If I had not experienced it and someone else told me this story, I would probably not believe it, so if any reader is skeptical, I will understand.

I was picking cotton on a plantation in northeastern Arkansas to earn money for school clothes. A neighbor of ours was transporting people from our area to and from the cottonfields about twenty miles from my home. There were about fifteen of us, I believe, from my age to elderly, working in the field that day. Among them my pal Polly, a year older than I, and her mother and step-father.

Polly and I were picking a row each and a "snatch row" between us. That is, the two of us picked three rows as we went along. The one having her row ahead would pick the snatch row to keep all three rows even. Polly’s parents were picking two rows each, as most of the workers were, so we soon pulled ahead of the others, giving us privacy for our conversation which we needed for it mostly concerned our plans for rebellion and living the life of a libertine.

After a bit Polly’s parents scolded us for doing more talking than picking. Polly sassed back using profanity. Emboldened by her performance, I sassed too, but without profanity, as I had not picked up that habit. It wasn’t done in our home. We did, however go to work in earnest because we knew we needed the money .We had about decided to use it for bus tickets to Texas to stay with a depraved uncle of Polly’s who allegedly could get her a job singing on the radio.

We worked hard for awhile, Polly "walking" on her knees to save bending her back, and I standing bent over the rows, as I never was any good at picking from a kneeling position. When my back began to complain in earnest, I stood to give it a rest. It was a pleasantly warm, but not hot day with a clear blue sky dotted with a few small fair weather clouds. I think I was facing roughly northwest staring aimlessly into the blue and thinking of nothing that I recall, enjoying a gentle, refreshing breeze that began to blow over me---------then THROUGH me!! Through every cell of me!! Cleansing me entirely. I have never in my life felt so clean, so
refreshed.

And then HE spoke to me. I didn’t hear a voice nor see a form. But I was clearly and intensely aware of a communication directly into my consciousness from an OTHER of indescribable goodness, kindness and power.. and I recognized him as I would my mother or father. I felt I had known him before but had somehow forgotten him until that minute. I trusted him completely with no apprehension for he was, I knew, completely to be trusted.

Here, as nearly as I can express it in the clumsy medium of language, is the content of that communication:

I was made aware that sin was destroying me. I was shown the image of a form, that as I recall it seems now to have somewhat resembled a fetus (though at the time I had no idea what a fetus looked like) which I understood was myself. It was being eaten away by a horrible sore, disgusting and revolting in the extreme. I was made to know that He felt great sorrow for this state of affairs.

He told me that if I would choose a path characterized by love and peace that he would be with me to guide me all the way and at the end of the path I would come to him. I was shown an image of a path through a wood and a light like a spotlight shining down upon it ahead of me. Then when he spoke of my coming to him I was caught up into the midst of a glorious golden light; suspended there, embraced in perfect love and peace and joy beyond expression, the joy of coming home at last. For this destiny I had been
created.

Suddenly I was back in the cottonpatch just as before, except my face was wet with tears. I was so terribly sorry for every unkind thing I had ever said or done. I felt a deep love for all people and a feeling of how infinitely precious each person is. I looked at Polly
kneeling between the cotton rows looking up at me and her face was wet with tears as well. We had apparently had the same or very similar experience.

The first thing we did was to run back to where her parents were working and try to tell them what had happened and to apologize from our hearts for the way we had so recently spoken to them The next Sunday we astonished everyone by appearing in church

I have, over the ensuing years, considered many "explanations" for this event, and can honestly find none more believable than the one I unquestionably accepted at the time; We had an encounter with the living God.

***A Bucket of Water - 18 year old, female

I was pumping a bucket of water from the pump in our back yard. ( We did not have plumbing.) I was not meditating nor doing anything to cause an altered state of consciousness. My eye fell on an ordinary weed growing beside the pump and I suddenly was
filled with awe because of it's perfect beauty. I felt I was for the first time seeing it as it really was and that I had never really perceived the reality of it before. I felt a certainty that everything in all creation possessed this beauty and perfection if only we saw it as it really is. I was filled with joy. This lasted only an instant and then things were again "ordinary" as before; as if the sun had
come from behind the clouds for an instant and then was gone leaving all in the gloom again.

***To Be Free of Earth - 20 year old, female

Lying in bed , my husband asleep beside me I looked out the window at the night sky full of stars. I was thinking how wonderful to be free of earth and to be up there among the stars when suddenly, I was!

It wasn't wonderful, it was terrifying in the extreme. Every direction was down and I was slowly falling. I had no body. I had nothing to touch. The distances were inexpressibly enormous in all directions. The nearest star immeasurably far away. I was overwhelmed with the horrible isolation. It was unbearable. I felt I could not exist in such solitude. I was only seconds into the
experience and screaming,"God help me!!" with my soul.

I was suddenly back in bed beside my husband. I turned away from the window and avoided looking at stars for many years.

***A Golden Edifice - Late teens or early 20's, female

I was working in my kitchen when I suddenly remembered a dream but could not remember when I had dreamed it. The memory of the dream itself, though, was very vivid:

I was climbing up the side of a golden edifice, something like a tower made of gold and carved in beautiful intricate designs. I was very high up, looking down I could only see the tower disappearing into a blue infinity and above me the same. I was filled with a feeling of exhilaration. as I climbed I came to a niche, like others I saw in the edifice, and recognized that this was my place in this
glorious edifice. I was filled with such joy that I was so privileged to have place here. I felt this building belonged to my Heavenly Father, but that in some way I had helped build it and that I was actually part of it. I was so happy that this was so.

When I think of this it reminds me of the song, "Workin' on a buildin' for my Lord, for my Lord".

***A Dark Figure - mid-thirties, female

My older sister and I and our children were enroute to visit relatives about 15 miles from our home. My sister was driving, I sat in front beside her, the children ages twelve and up, in the back seat. It was a gray day with a light rain falling as we drove through the
countryside.

Looking ahead I saw something on the left side of the road, maybe ten feet off the road in a field. At first it was an indistinct dark form that could have been an old blackened snag or something of that nature, but I was filled with a terrible foreboding and certainty
that it was alive though I could see no movement. As we approached it could be seen to be a human like form but very tall and appearing to be wearing a hooded black robe reaching to the ground. The face was not at all visible. It's arms were down at it's sides and hands were not visible either. I was struck by the fact that it leaned forward at an impossible angle. It should have fallen
forward but did not. It seemed to be staring into the storm clouded sky behind us and to be concentrating for all it was worth, --doing what? I could not guess.

It exuded an "emotional field" or something of that sort that filled me with terror. I felt enormous power within it. I felt like a rabbit in the presence of a tiger, I prayed it would not focus it's attention on us. I did not feel it was evil or malicious, just very other and completely uncaring about us. It might destroy us just as an elephant might step on and crush a bug just because it occupied a
space where the elephant chose to put it's foot.

Just as we got past it my sister spoke, " What was that thing!" It looked like a witch casting a spell!" I replied, "I don't know! Just keep driving." I did not want to discuss it for fear this might signal our presence to the figure which had seemed oblivious to us. I had not considered likening it to a witch, which I think of as human. I only perceived it a definitely not human.

Later my younger son who was about twelve, said he also saw the figure and was similarly affected. However, both my sister and my son say they were not afraid but were filled with awe. They sensed the power and otherness but did not perceive it as a threat. I
was simply petrified with fear. It was some time before I could discuss it and even felt uncomfortable about thinking of it for fear it somehow might appear again.

***Missing the Love - 39, female

The first time it happened I was 39 and separating from a 20 year marriage. I had been under a great deal
of stress and anxiety and wound up getting involved in a 12 step program. I did my 4th step, "Making a
searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." and then the 5th step which was "Admitted to God, to
ourselves and another human being (in my case with a sponsor) the exact nature of our wrongs." For me it
was like the confession I had grown up with in church, except the sponsor was a lay person and I so much
wanted my emotional pain to end that there was nothing left inside of me that I felt ashamed of. I told my
sponsor everything. As I drove home that night I began to feel bliss and then so much Love. It was all over
me and it was inside of me and It showed on my face. My face really glowed.I was transformed by the Love
I knew to be Universal.

I was told I had experienced a manic episode (Until that point I had never been diagnosed bi-polar)but I knew that it was more than that. It stayed with me for a very long time. I knew Love for the first time and I felt only Love for every human being I met, even those I had previously not
even liked very much. I felt compassion to such a degree that it was amazing. I wanted to help everyone, I
gave strangers rides,

I bought spiritual books and gave them to friends because I felt as if there was an endlesss supply to what God would provide for me in every way. It lasted the first time for about a month.

The morning that I awoke and it was gone I felt such loss and sadness but I also felt so blessed. It had
changed my life because I felt that I had been born again. That was the only explanation at the time. It
happened every year or so but it didn't last very long again. Then when I was about 50 I was in a relationship with someone and I had to let go of them as I knew God wanted me to do that. That summer I decided to be a much more loving and giving person. I mailed money to people anonymously, I gave my time and energies to people who were looking to change their lives, and other people were affected by my transformation.

I began to live my life completely for God. That was the year that He stayed with me all summer. It was awesome. It was as if God and I were one. The world became the Garden of Eden. God actually did things to help me..I knew this was about so much Love and Joy and Giving and it taught me so much.

We spent time alone together and I wrote letters and prayers and I felt as if the Holy Spirit had written
them. They did not sound like me at all. My Life was never to be the same. I have not experience this bliss
and unity now for almost three years this coming September and I miss it so much.

But I am not the same person I was. Having met the Love that created all of us changed my Faith completely. I have been able to let go of everything and trust that God will always be there to supply my every need. I have been sick and though I was brought up to believe that God helps those who help themselves, I have learned that the more I rely on God to provide for me, the more he does and oh so generously. I live in the
secular world but I live for God in every way since my experience of His Love. I spend time with others who
have fear and depression and my Faith seems to be very contagious. God has given me a real purpose for
Life. I try to bring it into my everyday life.

A friend gave me the book "Practicing His Presence" about Brother Lawrence and I understood every feeling
that he decribes so beautifully. I know I have been blessed and I hope to spend the rest of my life helping
others find the same experience of His love.

***Naked Essence - 29 year old, female

My mystical experience is more transformative with awakening to or feeling the divinity within, and with the outer or higher existance/force. I had always been searching for deeper meaning of life and being. I'm not a
religious person, however, I had studied Zen, Buddhism, Taoism, meditation for my own inner work and soul search for the past over 10 years.

Then this car accident happened over 2 years ago. The car accident was meant to happen to me, indeed. It has lead me to this very difficult, painful, and lonely passage, with lots of disorientation, adjustments and
opening/surrendering. The whole recovery process was not about my accident inuries anymore. The jolts disguised as a car accident and recovery process
were meant to be much much more than that.

I believe that a true physical and mental mystic or divine experience cannot be easily endured, because it goes beyond ordinary human perception and consciousness.
What one goes through with this whole experience is beyond measure or joyously written words. It really must be experienced, felt, endured, and passed.

I have gone through physical, mental, and psychological disorientation. Followed by restoration and revelation. All my senses are heightened. My 6th, 7th, and higher chakras have been open. My consciousness with All That Is has been risen. Every part of my body does not feel the same anymore, especially all the senses and my mind, my consciousness. I 'm learning to channel, to receive messages, to re-awaken and re-sharpen my precognition abilities. Hard to describe everything. Our
science is not catching up with this. It is a calling to wake up to be the ordained being, and to start walking on the ordained path.

I wanted to die because I could not endure being in this physical world anymore. And I was not sure if I could endure this awakening stage either. But I could feel the love, abundance, warmth, and guidance from the
existance. I've always known that I carried an important mission inside my soul to do on this earth. I'm learning to lift up my veil. I have learned through guidance from my esoteric and intuitive guides (humans) about what I
have been going through. What they have told me about my soul purpose and life mission is what I had always known. Do I think I can endure this whole process and challenge of the task? Well, I am grounded as a human here, but I am also with the existance. I can only believe and trust in my own inner vision and in unity with the higher force/guidance. Yes, for I could not live any longer without opening up this way, and without attending to my larger responsibility to serve humanity and earth. From now on, I'm going to truly enjoy this lifetime.

Everybody, every soul is to be a divine human. We have to wake up our naked essence.

***Listening to Bach - 18 year old, female

I was about 18 years old (now I am a 46 year-old woman) at that time. I was lying on the couch listening to Bach's Choral Preludes for organ. Maybe it should be said that classical (and light) music is a very important part of my life, and Bach is my favourite composer.

I've listenend to this record many times before, but this time something strange happened. At some point I felt like I got thrown to a totally different dimension, not a place, I emphasize this - dimension, as there was no sense of place, time, weight or anything physical for that matter. I was thrown there by some power, probably my own, and in a sense, there was also no identification of "I" there, I mean as a Russian girl of 18, named Maria I was at the time. So there was no 'me', no ordinary reality, I didn't hear any music either. What "I" perceived was some "place" (sorry for putting many words in inverted commas, it's just they only vaguely reflect what I saw/felt), where some "objects" were living, functioning, pulsating, creating.

They multiplied all the time, they were highly intelligent, they were like highly intelligent blocks of energy assuming ever changing forms and colors, creating incessantly new "forms" or creations of theirs. It was a totally thrilling and astonishing act of creation!
(though to this conclusion I came many years later!). I was the observer and at the same time I was part of this scene. There was no space in the usual sense of the word, and these "creations" assumed forms that cannot be described or imagined in our reality. There was impression of great energy, great moving, unfortunately, as is usually the case with such stories, I can't find adequte words to describe it properly.

It happened long ago, but I remember it quite vividly, especially the feeling of "being there", or "being That". When I came to, the music was still playing, so I guess it took some 10 minutes of the regular time, but it seemed timeless and eternal 'over there'.

The "awakening" was rough, my room and all the colors seemed dull, objects seemed heavy and ugly. I remember also some weird phrase (weird for me at that time, at least) that rang in my head: "there is no cause and effect". I couldn't make anything of
this experience of that time, though it intrigued me deeply. I kept thinking about it years after it, reading all kinds of books which could be helpful in identifying what it was. I partially solved this by now, believing I found myself in a different dimension somehow connected to the Bach's music that initiated this experience and where probably was no cause and effect.

It never happened again, but sometimes I feel some faint reminders of it in moments of relaxation, or meditation.

***An Olfactory Premonition - female

I often smell things that are not there, for example cigarette smoke when nobody in the house smokes, and the flowers that are passed around from one to another when there are no flowers in the room, and it is winter.

A week or so ago, it was 8.45 on a Saturday night (don't ask me why I looked at the clock) three of us, all friends, were sitting in the lounge waiting for the Sabbath to finish, when there was this terrible smell of burning, like hair and flesh from a chicken that is being singed. Two of us looked all over for the origin of this dreadful smell. It wasn't coming from the outside, the front or back of the house, it was coming only from the lounge. My friend said that she saw some smoke where I was standing. The smell lasted for about 10 minutes, then went.

The next night, at exactly the same time the smell came again only more pronounced. My husband and I were at home together, again, we went all over the house, it was just in the lounge. After about 10 minutes the smell vanished.

Something made me turn on my Emails to see what there was. I had a one line letter from a friend in India ' Omi had died' (and had been cremated we were to learn later) that morning. I realised that the bad smell was Omi saying that he had gone and was coming to say goodbye and the smell was his cremation, in the open, in India.

It was a really powerful experience. When we realised what it was we both agreed that we wouldn't be smelling that particular smell again at 8.45 the next night
My friend Beth later phoned ( on another day ) and told me that the ' smoke had totally enveloped me, and that she thought that I had seen it too ' if I had I would have died of fright...

***A Blinding Explosion or Implosion - 14 year old, male

My mystical experiences started when I was 14 years old. One night I was calling out for my father and he answered me (which wasn’t anything special but he had died a couple years earlier) I knew it was he. During this time that I had contact with him. He told me of the seven planes of heaven and how this being the lowest one because we can feel pain. He also told me that we didn’t die at that time I didn’t understand.

Then one night I asked him to see God and he said "sure". Which shocked me and told me to lay back close my eyes and breathe deeply. As I did so I felt my spirit leave my body and began traveling through space with millions of stars. Then it went completely black

I wasn’t afraid in or of this darkness for it was like a warm all-loving embrace of my heart. Then as suddenlly it turned black

It ignited with a blinding explosion or implosion in my head. During that moment (I don’t know how long I was out for, it could have been seconds or hours) which I
believe was a reunion with a higher consciousness. I began to say I’m sorry over and over again. Just as quickly it began it was over.

When returned I knew of no death and there is a cosmic order to life. I also knew that what evil there was in the world was created by people being separated from
their Higher nature.

The knowledge I came away with a blessing and I thank God every moment I’m alive.

***One Normal Evening - 22 year old, male

My experience happened at the age of 22 while in college (I am now 47). The following narrative is only an awkard attempt to describe the indescribe. I do not mean to sound melodramatic, but words cannot capture what really happened to me when I was a young man.

One normal evening while alone, I was feeling uncharacteristically depressed. My usual temperment is cheerful and generally very level. Sensing the depression and not wanting to let it prevail, I attempted to escape from it in the usual way; pleasant memories, plans, hobbies, etc. but to no avail.

It seemed that whatever I tried to do, I felt as though I couldn't help but to sink lower into my depression. A very unusual situation for me. Sensing the futility of trying to escape anywhere, I finally said to myself "OK, I give up, take me (take me further into that depressed state if that was what was to be").

A short moment later, I felt this great sense of mental acceleration, or movement "up." Quickly, my depression left and was replaced by an extraordinary "elation." I began experiencing some kind of entirely new state of mind and being. Although my thoughts continued, the predominent sense was "above and beyond thought". It was in effect an all-encompassing sensation which included, almost incidentally, my mind and body, but which was largely much beyond and not limited by mind and body.

The mind and thoughts continued in their normal and busy manner, ---"like a monkey chasing it's tail at mey feet"--which seemed both funny and sad at the same time. A visual image that continued to appear in my mind was that of an enormous hand with me standing in it's palm; protected and secure. Time, as we know it, was truly meaningless. I couldn't, or didn't feel inclined to move because the experience was much too powerful, and so I laid on my back during this entire period which lasted over two hours
(normal time).

It was clear then, and clear now that what happened was a blessing of some great magnitude. I felt like I was permitted to glimpse into the 'kingdom of heaven' or something. The clarity and certainty of the experience was not unlike waking from a dream (in this case - the dream of my daily, regular life) and realizing 'I've just been dreaming - Thank goodness!'.

It was and is beyond my ability to define the experience with words. The level of happiness and sense of 'one-ness' with my world was beyond
description. The experience left me with the knowledge - not merely a belief - that we are all part of the One, that we are all living in a world
of vast intelligent design. The experience was life-changing and I will be forever grateful for it. I have rarely even mentioned experience to others because it was so intense, so private, and so unusual. It has made me feel 'different' and sometimes isolated from others. I've never talked to anyone else who has had anything like this happen to them. As I get older, I realize it must have been a very unique experience. Thank you for letting me share this.

Immense Tearing Sensation - 17 years old

I'm seventeen, and currently studying astral projection. This experience came to me after waking up at 3:00 AM and was thinking beyond the capacity of rational thought. I resolved to leave my physical body, as an experiment of self-knowledge.

The ringing in my ears became louder and louder. I felt an energy all over my body. Sudenly, as the ringing was becoming unbearably loud, it broke into a low droning sound. I could hear my pulse as if it were a beating drum, and it played with an echo that sent excited energy throughtout my body.

I was fully conscious and aware that my body was asleep, and I was looking through my eyelids. I willed myself to float upward, and with great effort I accomplished it. I felt an immense tearing sensation and a rush of pleasure comparable to an orgasm comvering every inch of my body.

I was out. I could walk through walls, fly, jump off the rooftops of my neighborhood. Everything I remember in complete detail, and I knew that I was out of body.

***Porcelain Sky - 20 year old, female

I was 20 years old before I discovered that I had been having mystical experiences for as long as I could remember. I was in college and taking a psychology class. The instructor was a young woman not much older than her students. One day, she discussed how
doing something in a natural surrounding can renew our psyches and help relieve stress. She asked if any of us had ever had the experience of feeling stressed and finding that going for a walk or similar activity could relax us.

A few students raised their hands and told stories about seeing a deer in the woods or hearing birds sing. I was very quiet in those days (and private), but I remember
getting a little frustrated by the shallowness of the other students’ stories. You see, I had experienced a far greater experience in nature.

So I raised my hand and told the instructor about how I would go for walks in the evening with my dog. I would climb up on some rocks and sit down, looking at the mountains and the sky. After sitting there for a short time, I would feel my body become very light. Sometimes, I had to fight my fear that I would float away. If I stayed relaxed, though, I would have the feeling that my body was suspended in time and space.

Then would come the glorious feelings. There were so many of them that it’s frustrating to have to describe them through words. One of the feelings—or rather, one of the awarenesses—was of the immensity of space. The sky would resemble (to me) a huge porcelain teacup turned upside down, protecting me and our earth while the luminance of the universe beyond shone through its delicate skin. Sometimes, I would have a rushing feeling, as though I was being transported out to the limits of the teacup, then penetrating it and moving ever faster and higher, into the oneness of the universe.

Another sensation that would be occurring at the same time would be that everything around me was flowing through me and I was flowing through everything. I would reach out and touch a rock and the rock was me and I was the rock. I could hear its secrets and see the things that it had seen. Physically, I could sense that it was solid, but a deeper wisdom told me that the rock and I were connected and one.

When I finished my story, there was silence in the classroom. Several of the students were looking at me oddly and I felt that maybe I had said something “wrong.” Finally, the instructor told me that she wanted me to stay after class. I felt very embarrassed and
confused. I still remember how hot my face was as I stared at my desk for the rest of the class.

After class, I went to talk to her as requested. She was usually very friendly to me, but now she was almost curt and demanding. She asked me to tell her more about my “walks.” I was sure that I had revealed something that was wrong in me and was rather reluctant to talk about much more. Finally, she told me that the experience I described was not something that everyone
experienced—that I had had mystical experiences out there, sitting on a hill, with my dog nearby.

I’ve only recently started talking to a person I trust about these experiences and others that I have had. I’m now 53 years old. I can, for example, move out of my body at will, and often “hear” what is going on in other people’s heads, if the emotions are strong enough. Sometimes, a great peace comes over me and I know about happy events that are going to happen in the next few days.
(Conversely, there are times when I feel very fearful for no good reason and want to make something stop—like I felt for a few days before my father died.)

Nature is very important to me. I had an unhappy childhood and this may have helped develop these abilities. However, I somehow knew that people would think I was crazy if I told them about them.

Perhaps its egotism or narcissism, but I feel that these experiences are a gift to keep me alive because I have a mission to do in my life. As mentioned above, my childhood was very unhappy. I was gifted musically and have other talents as well, but the environment I grew up in did not support these gifts well. Sometimes I feel bad that I squandered my talents and did not achieve some of the things that I could have. When I start feeling bad, however, the feeling of a mission yet to be accomplished comes back ever so strong. Like I said, I don’t know if that is a true experience or simply egotism. The other experiences, though, were indeed true and the greatest joy and peacefulness I’ve ever known.

In the 1600s - male

I know it sounds crazy but I had a religious, spiritual enlightenment during psychosis and when I came out of it I began believing that I was a warlock or truth seeker. Everybody thought I was crazy. I lost my job, family money, etc. I am starting over at 50 years old and still do not understand why I believe that in the 1600's I was a magician using psychic power to influence outcomes or persuade individuals. Currently, I feel electricity and do not understand at all about warlock. I never even knew there was such a thing.

From Darkness to Beauty - Female

It's late. I am tired. I apologize if I make gramatical errors. I have been going thru a hell of a dark night of the soul. It all started back when my mother insisted I study with Jehovah's Witnesses. I was only about 15 years old. It's all too long to go into. I plan to write a book someday of all of my experiences.

But anyway, I sacrified alot for God. I was taught that a true Christian puts God first. Young people were not encouraged to go to college. We were not even supposed to participate in any kind of after school activities because association with "worldly people" could pull us away from God's organization and tempt us to do wrong.

I suffered a major nervous breadown because of the religion at only 23 years old. I had hallucinations during that time. My life was ruined because of religion but I never left God.

I stopped going to that church. I was depressed and confused about my life. Once I was told by Jehovah's Witnesses to stop association with relatives and friends at school and to only associate with people of the True faith. I did what they said. I didn't go to college. I worked as a minister of God going door to door preaching. I was a virgin when I got married. I married in the Faith and too young because I did not want to be ostracised for committing fornication.

I fell into a dark dark hole. I suffered the most horrendous awful nightmares with Satan in them. I was a tortured soul. It has taken years of prayer to figure out my dreams. I have had several mystical experiences.

I am extremely philosophical. Something wasn't right. It took me years to figure it out. My mind believed what I was taught but something in me told me it was wrong. I began to write poetry for some strange reason. Many strange things happened.

During my darkest moment I prayed to God to let me see something beautiful, something Good. And He did. I was suffering laying on a mattress on the floor gazing out the window. I saw another reality. I transcended. Everything in house was if it wasn't there. I heard no traffic outside. Everything in this world went away for a little while. And the heavens looked so wonderful as if I was on a drug. The tree outside my window was like out of an enchanted forest. The colors were so vibrant and the light from the sun danced upon the leaves. I just stared at it like it was more beautiful than I ever realized.

I see a parellel universe. Sometimes when I get caught up in this life and start to get overwhelmed or down, I realize how stupid I am. This life is not all there is and the one waiting is so marvelous.

I see things different now. No true mystic should be involved with any religion. For God love people of all religions. He looks deep into our hearts. His eyes are roving and He hears our prayers.

I also had an experience while making love. I transcended and I thought only I felt it but I passed it on to my partner. He said I felt like we were making love like Angels.

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